5 Divine Days – Day 1 – The Day You Stop Blaming Others

Day 1 – The Day You Stop Blaming Others

The older I become, the more I am convinced that there are milestones to maturity that we must pass in order to become balanced and fulfilled adults. These milestones are the defining moments, or divine days, in our lives where we come to realize a greater purpose behind the chaos of our own existence.

Throughout the next 5 posts, I’m going to address 5 Divine Days. 5 Points along the path of our existence that will either become the stumbling blocks of failure and unhappiness or stepping-stones to the lives of destiny and fulfillment we long for.

So let’s get started with day 1, the day you stop blaming others.

The Day You Stop Blaming Others - Ubehebe Crater - Death Valley National Park

Day 1 – The Day You Stop Blaming Others.

I am starting with this divine day because I think it’s one of the greatest handicaps of our modern society. We like being the victims. We like having the option of blaming someone for the problems we’re facing.

For several years in my early 20’s I ran a locksmith company. When it failed, I blamed a lot of other people for its failure. I blamed the people I hired who didn’t live up to my expectations. I blamed my wife for not being more supportive. I blamed the person who advised me to open a storefront. . I blamed the people who encouraged me to become a business owner in the first place. In fact, I blamed pretty much everyone except myself

Blaming others robs us of the power that we truly possess. When we blame others for the circumstances in our lives, we place the control and responsibility for our lives in their hands. As long as we blame others for where we are in life, we are powerless to transition to the place we are destined to be.

Responsibility

Are there people who have caused me pain in life? Yes. Are there people who have given me bad advice? Yes. Are there people who have let me down, disappointed me, and stolen from me? Yes.

Are they responsible for who I am today? NO!

When the locksmith business failed, I was the one who hired people I liked instead of people who were right for the job. I was the one who chose to place the burden of my own business choices on my wife. I was the one who didn’t do the market research before opening the storefront, and I was the one who chose to listen to the advice I wanted to hear above the advice I didn’t want to hear. At the end of the day, I made every significant choice, and I was the only one who was responsible.

Masters of Blame

As a society, we are masters of blame. We blame our ex. We blame the education system. We blame lack of education. We blame the government for being too involved, and we blame the government for not being involved enough. We blame our families, our employers, the church, the neighborhood, the ‘man’, and even God.

Blame is the cheap curtain that we pull over the window to our soul so that we don’t have to see our own brokenness. We must pull back the curtain before we can ever begin to the process of mending our lives.

Accepting Responsibility

As you pull back the curtain today and look beyond the surface in your own life, what do you see? Are you broken? Are there areas of your life that have fallen into disrepair because you’ve put the blame and responsibility on someone else.

Life, circumstances, and people will wound you. It’s inevitable. It has happened in the past, and if you live long enough it will happen again in the future. It’s life.

Accepting responsibility to repair that brokenness doesn’t always mean that you accept the blame for causing every problem, it just means that you understand that you’re the one who is tasked with fixing them.

At any given moment, you have the power to say, “This is not how the story is going to end. – Unknown

My challenge for you today is to stop blaming anyone else for the condition of your life. No matter how wrong, cruel, or devastating their actions may have been. Accept responsibility and begin to tell a different story.

The day you stop blaming others is the day you begin to discover who you truly are.

5 Divine Days – Day 2 – The Day You Learn to Say No

About the Author

Jeremy BinnsWhen I'm not trying to save the world from the coming zombie invasion, I love my wife, hug my daughters, write, photograph, listen, observe, explore, and worship.View all posts by Jeremy Binns →

  • Laurel Griffith

    You have so much insight, Jeremy. Thanks for another great post.

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

      Thanks Laurel – I’m pretty excited about this set of posts. Hope you’re having a great week!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-ONeal/1073115363 Scott O’Neal

    Because of human nature we do just that! When something goes wrong, we tend to get defensive and cast blame at the nearest target. Thanks Jeremy for reminding me of the rut I’ve fallen into. Because of your simple and honest words, your caring spirit, and the fact that I call you friend. . . today will be the beginning of a Divine Day! Looking forward to the next :-)

    Tell that gorgeous family of yours that I said “Hey”!

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

      Hey Scott! Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. I love it when friends drop in, and especially when they leave some feedback! I was just talking to Patrick Collins about you the other day – (bragging about your hdr work).

      Blessings my friend, and I just heard one of those gorgeous family members waking up and probably needing a diaper change. Have a great week!

  • http://www.timthompsonshares.com/ Tim Thompson

    Jeremy, I’m always amazed at how your posts seem to follow events in either my life or a family members at the time. I’m sharing this one with a family member who is right now in the middle of taking some personal responsablity for the situation he has come to be in. The word’s of this post conveys the message I would love to share with him myself but I’m sure it will carry more weight coming from someone else. Thanks, Brother

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com Jeremy Binns

      Thank you Tim – Hearing comments like this make this whole ‘blog thing’ worthwhile. I sincerely appreciate it, and I pray that it somehow connects and helps the person you’re sending it to.

      On an unrelated note, I’ve got some time blocked today to look over your e-book. I printed it, and it looks really nice – I’m looking forward to reading it today.

      Then hopefully blogging… :) Have a blessed weekend friend.

  • Dame cute

    God bless you Jeremy for this post. i’m so inspired.

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

      Thank you! ~

  • Dennis

    Hey Jeremy, hope you don’t mind getting a reply from a total stranger … what a great Blog mate! God’ perspective on the blame game is pretty clear … take the plank out of your own eye first!!! … what a journey this walk to maturity is … you know … even when others do contribute to some failure, there are still choices of responses that we have … humble and loving … forgiving … or arrogant, prideful, bitter and resentment … self pity over growth … love your work mate … keep sharing

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

      Are you kidding – getting replies from total strangers is pretty much the high point of blogging for me! :)

      I like what you said about choices of responses. That is one choice we always have and no one can take it from us. It can turn the darkest moments into events that will someday be looked back on as the moments where we shined the brightest. (or more accurately where He shined the brightest through us)

      Thanks you for commenting – really it does make my day. :)

      Blessings friend ~

  • seekinghope

    Hi Jeremy, where do i get to read the day 2 – 5?

  • Pingback: 5 Divine Days - Day 2 - The Day You Learn to Say No()

  • mary

    hi jeremy, reading through ur blog, i actually started tearing up. im 22 and i feel like my life is falling apart. it all started when i was younger… my dad left when i was a baby so my mom and gma raised me. i had no friends. i went from job to job… never had money. paycheck to paycheck, still living with mom. my current bf.. and i are on the verge of being over.because i cant get a handle on spazzing out and blaming others. i suffer from depression and bipolar btw.. anyways i understand i need to take responsibilty, but i dont know where to even start. and how do i start when i dont know why i even do it? plz help me before i lose everything :(

    • http://www.jeremybinns.com/ Jeremy Binns

      Hi Mary – my heart goes out to you on many levels here. As I was praying this morning, my prayer was that God would begin to shine in your life in a way that brought some kind of a ray of hope to your situation. Look for that hope.

      It’s tough to respond to some of these things knowing so little about you, but I do know that from the time I was 22 to the today when I’m 37, I’ve had a lot of down situations that seemed like they would be the hole I was stuck in for the rest of my life. I’m happy to say they weren’t.

      Some changes take time, but when you make positive choices and take positive actions in your life, one day at a time, the compounding effect over the years results in a dramatically different place of being. The fact that you took the time to read this post shows me that you’re actively engaged in your life and not just passively letting things happen to you. Keep it up, and you’ll find a brighter future.

      I definitely encourage you to try to find a good church family if you haven’t already. There’s so many churches out there, and fortunately, one of them is the perfect place for you to connect with other people who will love you through the difficult places in life and help you find that light when it seems to have disappeared.

      If no one has told you lately, and even if they have, God loves you. He has a perfect plan for your life that, if followed, will result in a greater happiness and fulfillment than anything you can imagine. Hang in there friend.

      -Jeremy

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

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