Reorganize Regroup and Recoup
Yes, it’s true. That’s a real picture of my desk at this moment. I’ve been in total work mode for a while now, and I’ve been neglecting that little thing called cleaning. I like to think that it’s okay since I’m getting things done though. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but it drives me nuts. So, this afternoon is a mandatory blackout for the Binns home. I have to collect myself and refocus… maybe rent a U-haul to take all of my trash to the dump too. I think McDonalds should sponsor my next endeavor.
I’m trying to lighten my mood just a bit, because I’ve been running face first into self awareness this week like a stainless steel studded brick wall. It’s not as pleasant as it sounds, but I’m grateful for the learning experience and thankful that God cares enough to continue this overhaul process in my life.
At the beginning of the year we wrote the word, “Integrity” in big bold letters at the top of our dry erase wall. What? You don’t have a dry erase wall in your house? That’s a pity. Regardless, I did this because I felt like it was the single biggest detail that God wanted us to work on this year. Before you’re too quick to rush to judgments, let me say that most days I’m not smuggling contraband and beating up helpless old men in wheel chairs, but I have noticed some chips in the surface of my shiny smooth integrity statue lately.
My biggest problem, is that I blow off small commitments like they don’t really matter. I tell someone I’m going to mail something, and I don’t. I say that I’m going to make a phone call, and I don’t. I promise to post something, and I don’t. When I do this, I justify it internally with my excuse of, “I’m too busy to get to it.” (didn’t think about it, but more than likely that’s why I posted the picture of my desk… deep – now tell me about your father, Jeremy…) Initially, I thought that this would be an easy fix. Just make the call, send the e-mail, and keep your word. In reality, I’ve spent more than one morning in prayer asking for God’s grace and mercy for dropping the ball yet again.
Last night though, I feel like Wendy and I had a joint realization. We tend to focus on big things and neglect the small things in almost every area of our lives. We can design a really cool room, but then leave the dishes unwashed for an entire week. We have had times in the past where we earned large sums of money, but since we never stewarded that income, it consistently fell through the holes of random small spending sprees. (say something like $500 in iTunes one month and several thousand dollars eating out. (and the electric bill gets turned off that month because we didn’t pay it) I have two really great book projects going on right now, but I neglect to write one day, and then that one day multiplies into an entire month of not writing at all.
Our realization was that the small things are causing the largest problems in our lives. Last night the Lord reminded me of the scripture that says, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:23) I felt like the Spirit was telling me that the big things in our lives keep falling apart because we’re being unfaithful in the small things, and that if we can begin to master the ‘few things’, that God is ready to bring the ‘many things’ into our lives.
So that’s where I’m at today. So far, so good. You might say that it’s only been a few short hours though… I’d say, “Exactly!”