Pregnant Wife Cooking… Beware
This evening my wife stepped up to the plate and decided to cook supper. You might not think this is a big deal, but after 13 years of marriage, I think that she has cooked less than 10 times. I know what you’re thinking. That’s an exaggeration. Although I’m perfectly capable of stretching the boundaries of a tale for the sake of making a little more interesting, this one is better in plain old black and white. She just hasn’t cooked. It’s okay though because, if you follow my blog, you already know that I really do enjoy cooking, and I consider eating out a competitive sport. Nevertheless, it’s still a little bit of a big deal when she cooks.
Yesterday, she queried all of her facebook friends for simple recipes and was bombarded with a lot of pretty good sounding food. So, we loaded up the car and went grocery shopping. Technically, she went grocery shopping, and I sat in the car watching a movie on netflix with my iphone. (technology is such a beautiful thing)
With a great deal of anticipation, the time came for her to prep the meal. Pork chops and potatoes slow cooked in the oven was her culinary choice for this evenings dining experience. (I have to say that sometimes I have been considered a know it all by some people, and occasionally I have a bad habit of offering advice when it hasn’t been asked for. People like that annoy the @#$ out of me, so it’s something I’m trying to change.) Anyhow, I noticed that she was layering the ingredients in the pan, and I made the following statement. ***I have to add another side note. This statement was made as innocently as if it were being uttered by a 5 year old. I wasn’t being a know it all at the time. It just seemed like an unusual way to place the ingredients. I was more curious than anything else.*** Here’s what I said. “Huh, that seems like an unusual way to add the potatoes.”
Allow me to offer some unsolicited advice at this point. Never, ever, under any circumstances, make a statement or ask a question that could be interpreted in any way as though you might be offering criticism. Her response…Let’s just say that I never knew potatoes could move through the air with that much speed and accuracy. If there were an Olympic event based on the abilities of pregnant wives to launch food items at their unsuspecting husbands, I’d say it would be a safe bet to put money on Wendy winning the gold.
I think I’ve finally got the potato smell off of me at this point, and supper eventually turned out pretty good. Although, I wasn’t up to admitting that to her after the flying potato incident. In fact, after that, I switched tactics a bit and tried the ‘know it all @$$hole approach” for a while with results that could be expected. All in all, I think she did a pretty good job. That’s was a big undertaking for someone who has only cooked about 10 times in their lifetime.
**************On the less dramatic dining front, I had a nice lunch with Jon, his brother, wife, and his daughter today at the Sintane Market in Smyrna. They’re good people, and it was kind of like a family dinner, although my family was absent… Great place for authentic food if you’re into that thing though, and for those of you who were interested in seeing what Pho looks like, here it is. This is after I doctored it up a bit, but its better this way. imho