brief is not my style…
I’d like to be able to jump on the computer and lay down a few lines to update the blog and then jump back off with only a few grains of sand dropping through the hourglass, but it seems there is always so much to say. Odd I guess coming from someone that doesn’t spend a great deal of time talking, or perhaps that is why I can sit and write at length. Don’t know. Don’t care. (at least at the moment)
Last night Breanna had her dance performance with the dance team at church. She was absolutely marvelous. I can hardly bring to mind another time that I have been more proud as a father than watching her so fully involved in something that had so much beauty and passion and also so full of purpose. I don’t frequently shed tears in public. It’s not that I try not to, it’s just that I usually don’t. I caught myself wiping the streams off of my cheeks several times during the hour long performance. The many hours they have put into preparation have been worth it many times over.
Today, as I continue to wade through my work load, I’m convinced that I’m able to rise up to this occasion. Through Christ, I can do all things. Sometimes that just means that I can be the person that has the discipline, determination, and divine help necessary to slay the giant and use it’s head as a stepping stone to reach my ultimate purpose in life.
Speaking of purpose… (darn, i was really hoping to keep this concise) I’m growing more and more convinced that my purpose in life involves writing. Not the random rambling of my blog, but purposeful and intentional writing. As I’ve been doing so lately, I can’t help but feel as though placing that final period gives me permission to breathe deeply and relax with the kind of peace that only comes when we are fulfilling our divine purpose in life.
Today, I’m rather upset at my wife. Of course, I love her as much as ever, but I’m a fairly needy husband. It isn’t easy being my wife, I’m certain of that. I’m able to disconnect and live in the existence mode under the same roof, but I really want to have that connected relationship instead. So that can make me a little bit demanding at times. (probably closer to a pain in the ass if we’re being completely honest) Still, I hope she finishes with this workshop soon so that she can spend some time telling me how much she loves me. My fragile self image starts to suffer if too much time expires without some excessive application of affirmation. I think of the five love languages, my favorite one is number 6, all of the above – and preferably all at the same time. So, yeah, I set the bar pretty high, but that’s why I picked Wendy, cause she’s up to the challenge. I’d like to say that I’ll stop being a jerk as soon as she shows me some more attention, but I know that’s not the way love works, so it’s back onto my knees asking for God to change me. (I’ve found that she’s rarely ever the problem with my life.)